Because I Said So

I have finished reading Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Surprisingly (to myself and anyone who knows me well) I don't read a lot of parenting books.  While pregnant, I read a few pregnancy and parenting forums and they really turned me off.  They seem to be full of moms who are absolutely sure that their way is the one and only right way and anything different will undoubtedly, severely damage your child...or worse.  Being a new mom is stressful enough without being judged by people who are just trying to figure this whole parenting thing out too.

Druckerman's book is very thought-provoking even if you don't subscribe to every French method of raising children.  It at least gets you thinking about how to set boundaries, keep your marriage happy and healthy, how to teach healthy eating habits, etc.

In France children snack once a day, at about 4:30, and adults don't snack at all.  Huh?!  I am definitely not French.  Although my mom just told me the other day that apparently we are a little tiny bit French on her side of the family. 

Interestingly, although France is behind the United States in the equality of women and men, married French moms are overall happier than American moms.  Druckerman states that this is because French women accept that they are better at raising kids and taking care of the house than their husbands.  When they get together, instead of complaining about their husbands and being miserable they giggle about how inept they are and consider themselves superior (at these tasks anyway).  I don't think I'm explaining this right.  Sorry Pamela! 

The French version of "because I said so" is "it's me who decides".  Similar meaning...slightly more adult-sounding with more authority. :)

One major difference between how American and French parents raise their children is in their avoidance of the "child king" syndrome you often see here now.  French parents believe that children shouldn't be raised that they are the center of the universe and that the parents and others' needs also matter.  They find many interesting, yet simple, ways to achieve this.

Whether you roll your eyes while reading or find yourself saying "huh...maybe I should try that?", Bringing Up Bebe is a fascinating read.  c'est la vie!

French Children Don't Throw Food

That's the title of the French-version of a book I'm currently reading called "Bringing up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting" by Pamela Druckerman.  I know what you're thinking...why would I want to raise my kid to turn out like a snooty French person?  Ahem.  This isn't a book that I would normally even take a second look at, but when both my sister and my husband happen to write it down and give it to me at the same time...it must be a sign.



I'm only a few chapters into the book and I already love it!  The author, after moving to Paris and starting a family of her own, notices striking differences between French and American children.  The French children seem to be able to calmly sit at a restaurant and wait for their food, they play quietly by themselves while the adults sip coffee and chat, and they rarely are seen throwing tantrums...huh?  Apparently they don't have Walmart in France.  hee hee :)  

Pamela manages to research the differing parenting styles of French and American parents without cheerleading one team or the other.  It is written in an investigative journalistic style which I appreciate.  I can see the wisdom of many of the things she discovers that the French seem to know instinctively.  Only now I realize...crap!  I have to de-program my baby!  We have already began to "ruin" her all in the name of love!  Ok...calm down.

While I don't agree with absolutely everything, many of the ideas fit into my value system.  I just haven't been implementing them.  I apparently thought we didn't have to begin much of the teaching part of parenting until she is a toddler.  Not true.

I will finish my review of this very interesting book when I finish it.  Which should be soon!

Why Jasmine Star is Responsible for My Lack of Sleep

Oh, Jasmine Star, how I love you so.  In that "I think you're super cool and wish we were friends" kind of way, not in the "single white female" sort of way.  Ahem...

But you are the reason I slept only about 4 or 5 hours last night!  I can only read after my baby girl goes to sleep at night, so I finished reading Exposed at about 11:30...and then my mind would NOT stop spinning & spinning!  If you're not familiar with Jasmine, she is an international wedding photographer located in Orange County, CA.  What the heck does she have to do with a Minnesota photographer who, thus far, does not shoot weddings?  Well, she happens to be my idol of sorts.  I love her blog and to read her funny, inspiring, helpful posts.  Exposed is her new magazine which covers her first 2 years in business as a wedding photographer and it is just...plain...awesome.

Her blog and magazine are inspiring for anyone, photographer or not.  She just seems like someone I would like to be friends with, model my business after, and quite frankly model my relationships after.  Heck, she even has a cool name that she makes into the uber cool logo j* (OK, it looks much, much cooler than that!)  That may sound like a LOT for someone I have never met, but she is so open in her online presence that you just feel like you know her, her hubby JD, and even their cute dog, Polo. :)

Exposed motivated and inspired me and, to be brutally honest, depressed me a little too.  I had a mini pity party of sorts.  Some of this was fueled by my "mommy lack of sleep" issues and feeling like there just isn't enough time in the day.

To be frank, I feel a little lost.  I have always loved photography, but my businesses is growing at a snails pace.  I admit that I haven't given it my all...yet.  I have SO MANY ideas, but need to work on my time management as well as figuring out my priorities.  I used to be an attorney, but never want to go back.  So I sometimes ask myself, "is photography really my passion or am I just running from the legal field?".  No...it is more than that.  I want freedom to spend time with Reid and Peyton and make a good living doing something I enjoy.

So, why is it so hard to figure out what I want to specialize in?  Why can't I break through to more non-relative, non-friend clients and followers?  Why do I have so few sessions scheduled?  Why am I basically broke??  Well, for one...I rarely pick up my camera anymore!!!  What?!  Duh.

I need to shoot, shoot, and shoot some more and I will find my passion again and figure out what type of photography inspires me the most.  And if I find out that I don't want to continue as a business at all?  Well, that's OK too.

"If you have no directions or destination, you will always be lost"  ~Exposed, by Jasmine Star

If You're a Mom...You HAVE to Read This Blog!

I found the hilarious, touching blog, Momastery, through a link on FaceBook and I just love it!  I'm not the only mom who has "mommy meltdowns" and doesn't always feel they have it all together.  While other days I feel like the luckiest, most blessed person on Earth.  


Life is a rollercoaster ride...so you might as well buckle up, throw your arms in the air and scream "look ma, no hands!" :)

This photo is from the Momastery blog and is of Glennon, the writer of this amazing blog. I'm not sure who took the photo, so I

can't give them the proper credit, but it wasn't me (I don't want to take credit for something I didn't do). :)

Three Boys, a Cat, and a Lot of Fun

Charlie, Krist, and Asher were so much fun to photograph!  It was a beautiful, unusually warm fall day in Minnesota when we met the Ellingson family.  I was nervous (well, to be honest I'm always nervous before a shoot!) because these boys had been professionally photographed a few times before.  They were pros.  How would I compare?  I just wanted everyone to have fun, be casual, and provide some images that captured their personalities.  

Their mom, Tammy, joked with her sister, Dawn, that they had misbehaved after Dawn had told me how well-behaved these boys are.  Reid and I thought they were amazingly mellow and well-behaved little boys!  :)

 

We even did a few shots with their cute kitty cat who just HAD to be in the photos.  Sorry, kitty, your pics didn't make the cut. :)

What a nice day and an even nicer family!  Thank you all for letting us photograph you and spend some time getting to know you.

What's Important to Me

Being a new mom is hard, joyous, exhausting, and love-filled all at once.  There were days in the beginning when I thought "What was I thinking?! I can't do this!".  Then a few days later I would be having a great day, feeling as though we had gotten into a "groove", and I would think "I've got this!".


On my "pity party" days I try to catch myself and remember what is really important.  I lost my wonderful dad a few years ago and thinking of him helps me keep my priorities straight.  We are given one life.  Period.  How do I want to spend it?


Most days I am very happy.  I think being overtired is the most difficult part of being a new parent.  It makes us all crazy!  But when I start to feel like my day is overwhelming or stressful all I have to do is think about what I would likely be doing if I had not started my own business and had a baby.  I would be spending two and a half hours per day in my card commuting to Minneapolis to sit at a computer nonstop for eight hours reading and coding boring legal documents.  Blah.  Suddenly my day as mom and a "sort of housewife" seem pretty awesome. :)


This week I got the extremely sad news that one of my cousins has terminal cancer.  He has been told to expect to live around three months.  Three months.  While we all hope and pray that they are wrong and that he will live longer than expected like my dad did, his life will still likely be cut much shorter than anyone had hoped.  I feel so horrible for his family.  I've been there and it's the most helpless, desparate feeling.  But when I think about how he must feel I can't even imagine how terrifying and depressing it would be.  I only hope he can find a sense of peace at some point and enjoy every moment with his family.


I am blessed and very lucky.  I have an amazingly supportive, loving husband and a beautiful, healthy baby girl.  It is my goal to always keep that in mind and appreciate every day.  Even the less-than-perfect ones!

My Business & Life New Years Resolution

They say I should write a blog post daily.  Or at the very least weekly.
They say I should charge as much as a pro with the best equipment, years of experience, and a loyal clientele.  Or at least don't "shoot and burn" a disc of images for $100.
They say it's not the camera...it's the photographer.  They also all list a very expensive camera and even more expensive lenses as their "must haves".
They say you should use all of the social media outlets to reach potential clients, you must maintain a website, and must have a blog.
They say you should custom design everything to be unique.  They also say you have to find a way to balance your business and family lives.

The pros in the photography industry are an amazingly open and helpful group of people.  When I state the above things I don't mean to say that these statements are all false or self-serving.  I merely listed them to show what is always rolling around in my mind.  I appreciate all of the openness!  I just need to learn how to fit it into my own life and business.

I often get in my own way.  I get stuck.  I love photography and love owning my own business, although it is still in its early stages.  I study, listen to, read, and learn all I can about the both the art and the business end of things.  But when I do so I often get overwhelmed by all the things I'm "supposed" to do so much so that I do nothing if I can't do it the "right way".

Well, I'm going to try not to do that anymore.  I'm going to shoot what I enjoy and process the images the way I like them to look (and hope that others like them too!).  I'm going to write blog posts whenever I can about whatever is on my mind instead of putting it off until I have a photo to go with it.  I'm going to charge enough to make the time I spend per client worth it, while keeping in mind the area I live in and my experience level.  I'm going to help my husband rebuild his business so that we will have the financial freedom to spend more time together as family and work on my business as much as I can as well.  My beautiful baby girl, Peyton, and my husband, Reid, come first.  Period.

I need to let go of all the things I'm not getting done and just enjoy life.  I appreciate each and every day.